I've been running this site for about 2 1/2 years or so, always working on something for it even if I didn't have any articles to upload. Since about a month after first launching, every day I get email or Facebook messages, or sometimes people on IRC contacting me telling me how full of shit I am, how I'm a shill, how they're going to have me executed when they take things over, or even more commonly hundreds upon hundreds of links to youtube videos.
I started saving links to everything people told me to read in June this year, and to this date it's 3,412 movies, web sites, pod casts, etc. Of course, everyone wants me to look at these now, but I keep getting further and further behind.
One person in particular drives me up the wall, I won't say his name because a long time ago he asked me not to say it on my site, so I won't -- I'll call him Lou Jones. He posts on the Facebook group literally almost every day. He believes in probably every conspiracy theory that's out there, except probably the Moon hoax and Flat Earth, but pretty much everything else.
He's a perfect example of all the idiocy I have to deal with when talking to conspiracy theorists every day. He almost never listens, he ignores nearly anything that goes against his beliefs, meanwhile saying that he's just looking for answers and so forth. Of course, he calls me a zealot because I don't believe him and require evidence. To him, quotes from books and youtube videos count as evidence, to me they don't mean a fucking thing, seriously.
He's not that big of a deal though, because I don't believe in censoring anyone, I let him post on my group all he wants, and for months on end he's been posting and posting, ignoring and challenging everything that goes against his world view. I've pretty much given up talking to him, it's clear to me that he's fairly delusional, probably slightly paranoid, and conspiracy theories are a religion to him, even though he'd surely deny this -- the fact he says his mother's got cancer and sick in the hospital, yet he posts throughout the day instead of spending time with his mother says a lot to me about how he really feels.
He's not the only person I talk to, on Facebook I get at least 2 messages, sometimes as much as 5, every day from a new person telling me how wrong I am or that I'm a liar and listing youtube videos and other garbage as evidence. I'm so sick and annoyed of this that I feel like I just want to shut everything down.
There are days when I wish I wouldn't have opened my mouth (or finger tips I guess) and posted that Zeitgeist debunking (my first article here). However, everytime I get discouraged, someone sends me a message that my site has helped them or someone they care about, and that's really what keeps me going. Even though many people are convinced that I get tons of money from the government for making my site, in reality the best payment is when I hear that it's helped someone.
I don't hate conspiracy theorists, I don't even hate Lou Jones, and in fact I always admired how dedicated he is, and even though I think most of what he posts is utter shit, he keeps my group going a bit. I also don't think conspiracy theorists are stupid people, I've always seen them as people looking for answers like everyone else, they just seem to easily give up looking for truth and believing anything sensational that comes their way. I really hate the situation, and dealing with all the bullshit. If you're a conspiracy theorist you don't deal with nearly as much bullshit as you do if you're a debunker -- maybe if you're Alex Jones, but if you're an average person on both sides rather.
My main problem with conspiracy theories is that they create imaginary problems so that people focus on them, instead of focusing on real problems in the world. For example 90% of people born poor will stay poor, not just in America, but everywhere. Does the Codex, Income Tax, Federal Reserve, etc. have anything to do with this? If you think it does, then you need to change pace because you're wasting valuable resources and brain power trying to solve non-existant problems, instead of working to actually do something.
I always bring it up: do you ever see Zeitgeist Movement, Alex Jones, Alan Watt, etc working to better their communities? Hell no, yet they're saving the world? Give me a break, $20 for a movie about why X is doing Y so that they can do Z for some great evil, providing no evidence doesn't help anyone, anywhere, ever. I donate my money and time all year long to help others, mostly the poor and veterans, and I sure as hell never see conspiracy theorists there, I don't see truthers there. If you are a conspiracy theorist, you aren't helping anyone, you're only making things worse and making it harder to actually change things.
It's easy to cop out and be a conspiracy theorist, it takes no real effort, nobody asks anything of you other than to spread around a bunch of bullshit. To actually do go in the world takes effort, the kind of effort I've never seen any conspiracy theorist actually put forth. And no, putting up signs that show Obama as The Joker or "Ron Paul 08" stickers does not count as doing anything. The conspiracy movement, to me, is nothing but a giant circle jerk, of self-obsessed, wanna-be super heroes who don't realize the world is far more complex than they want it to be. No, the militia won't save the world or the country. No, switching to the gold standard won't make everyone rich. Yes, most conspiracy theories in the US originate from evangelical Christian fears, and if you don't admit it, you're just as blind as they are.
I need to take a break, but I don't want to. However, I'm going to force myself to do it. I'll still moderate my group a bit, but I'm not going to watch any more videos or read anymore articles (unless they're a big deal) until the first of the year at least.
If anyone wants to contribute to my site, I have forums, you can post about ideas there, I'm open to others helping out.
I'm not giving up, and I will be back, I just need a break from this, I find myself becoming obsessed with conspiracy theorists, watching all their movies and videos, reading their stuff and so forth. I'd like things to return to the way they were before I put up the site, but they won't.
I promised to never take the site down, and even if I never return, I promise I'll keep it up for many years to come, and anyone that wants to write articles for it, please go ahead, they don't even have to be in English.
I haven't published in a long time, but my email address is: edwardlwinston[at]gmail[dot]com (there's an L between Edward and Winston) if you want to talk, drop me a line, if you're a conspiracy theorist, you can email too, but I'm not interested in debating.
I hope I'm not letting too many people down.
P.S. While I'm taking my break, all donations and everything will all be donated, mostly to the poor in the US.
